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I Knock On Your Door Til It's Night And You're Still Not Alive

by Vender & The Cobras

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1.
How come I’m painting cardboard boxes blue How come i’m peeling vegetables for two like you did like you did How come i’m feeling like i don’t exist How come i’m poking at the boiling cyst on your leg on your leg And I wonder what the cost is of your trust your trust And i wonder what the cost is of your trust your trust Home come i’m cutting up old brown lamp shades How come i’m sleeping in for days and days anymore anymore How come the earth keeps spinning round and round If not to spin us back into the ground even the score even the score And i wonder what the cost is of your trust your trust And i wonder what the cost it of your trust your trust And i wonder what the cost it of your trust your trust And i wonder if you’d save me a seat on the bus the bus Or I wonder if you’d just leave me in the dust
2.
Devil's Gold 04:26
A shitty point of view Brought me back to you When you slammed the door My shirt still on the floor You got bad contused When you flipped an illegal U When your body well it flew But your soul got the upper view Once every hundred years God and my dad grab a beer From their places on opposite sides Of the heavenly divide And they talk about girls and football And they dream just like any old guys And once in awhile they laugh And once in awhile they cry But they mostly stare off into space And watch shit fly by A shitty point of view Brought me back to you Your footprints on my wall From crawling across my bed Your hand marks on my sink From the place where we both drank lead From the kitchen where we both bled Cuttin' vegetables i guess And your mom left a couple hundred messages On my answering machine But my mailbox just got full And we let our feelings dull Til you walked across the floor Til the night you slammed the door There’s a mirror on my gravestone Where i see all my friends who’ve died And when they lower me inside There’ll be mirrors in my coffin too So i can see myself as well As I’m lowered down to hell For quite a lengthy spell And I’ll never get out Unless you yank me with your mouth In a final angel kiss Though i’ll be some demon's piss They’ll take a picture in between and they’ll call it eternal bliss Well a shitty point of view Is what brought me back to you And our love was overdue Like rotting on the shelf Didn’t lead to much good health But it brought the devil wealth When he gobbled up my soul That’s what’s called devils gold That’s what’s called devils gold That’s what’s called devils gold
3.
I wanted to fly so I hollowed out my bones with a spoon Can't believe the flaming hoops you've got me diving through Cook up my marrow for a treat I'll take it as a compliment Sometimes memory loss comes heaven sent Home is the feeling of dimes standing on end And I can no longer pretend You're not the black eyed lover You're not the black eyed lover You're not the black eyed lover Sipping Grapefruit juice at the foot of my bed I wanted to be free so I gave you some of my burdens It didn't work now both our backs are bent I'll sip the lava as it pours into our basement And I'm sorry if I ruined you on all my friends You're not the black eyed lover You're not the black eyed lover You're not the black eyed lover Sipping Grapefruit juice at the foot of my bed Leaving is a crow's foot crooked after death And you hurt me bad but I must confess You're not the black eyed lover You're not the black eyed lover You're not the black eyed lover Sipping Grapefruit juice at the foot of my bed
4.
Either or anymore I feel like dying Glass slippers and a Toblerone I told you to go home But you wouldn't go home Figgy Pie I don't know why we're even trying When the whippoorwill's song's so cold A Coke can that wrinkles up and crinkles up Deep in my soul I wanted this to be Something good for me But it isn't, nah it isn't I wanted this to be Something you could see But it isn't, and it won't be
5.
Broken In 01:57
When I saw you there with him All drinking on his dirty gin And you touched his hand I didn't understand When I chased you down the street The moon it made those puddles bleed Did you like them then All broken in Oh I wish I could be him All wrapped around your chin But I could never be Close to me With you Possible lives float in the wake I realize my big mistake Was loving you When you were so cruel If I could make it all rewind I'd still love you every time I am your fool I'm locked to you Oh I wish I could be him All wrapped around your chin But I could never be Close to me With you A sabotage an injury Everything now left me is a lifetime Of missing you coming unglued Skipping stones forever on the sideline Oh I wish I could be him All wrapped around your chin But I could never be Close to me No I could never be Close to me With you
6.
Swan Dive 03:09
It's a swan dive I don't care who you are Broken feathers that'll leave a scar Unless you're ready Are you ready Stage lights/shadow on your face tonight Perfect diction when you read the lines I am not ready How could I be ready There's a home in your arms And it's where I want to be But there's a hole in my heart And it's keeping you from me If I ask you for something you can't live Don't mind my stupid words though I act like a kid If you're not ready I don't want to be ready There's a home in your arms And it's where I want to be But there's a hole in my heart And it's keeping you from me
7.
The Weather 00:42
We talk about the weather Cause it's fucking relevant Jesus Christ the Big Bang Don't make me put on a jacket I'm sorry When I open the door Look up at you My wrist Slips in My sleeve I say Goodbye
8.
Gold To Me 03:50
I know I won't be with you for at least a while I had a gap in your string of lovers But I failed to strike when the iron was hot And now you're paired off with another But you're gold to me Don't make me have to say it You're gold to me Why can't you see why can't you see The fall Michaela walked off into the dark I didn't know just what to say I kissed your shoulder in the chapel in the morning But you just looked the other way But you're gold to me Don't make me have to say it You're gold to me Why can't you see why can't you see Don't hate yourself yourself Don't hate yourself yourself Last week I came home to you sitting on his bed You faked a smile and so did I I mumbled something bout how time is like an orchard You didn't call me on my lie But you're gold to me Don't make me have to say it You're gold to me Why can't you see why can't you see I hear your voices coming through his door I've never had such fun as that before I hear your body moving on his floor I've never had such fun as that But you're gold to me Don't make me have to say it You're gold to me Why can't you see why can't you see Don't hate yourself yourself Don't hate yourself yourself And I won't hate myself But if I do oh well
9.
Stupid Boy 03:02
I'm a stupid boy I've need pins in my brain When the levy broke you couldn't find my name But by the end of the day You would learn my fate Such a stupid boy I don't know why I called you at home Maybe just to hear you all grown You said we're only 16 I said well what does that mean I'm such a stupid boy When the town broke the bones poked the corpse spoke I needed you here Between heartbeats under your sheets with no heat I became unclear On what was really real To such a stupid boy Now the moths they dance around in my skull Cobwebs billow like a thread you'd like to pull I'm a ghost town now And I don't know how I'm such a stupid boy I was a bad brew inside you and we stewed Til we overflowed From the remains of your place we ran away Both unwhole Til you left me alone To be a stupid boy I'm a stupid boy I'm a stupid boy I know Because you told me so
10.
Under cover of night We dreamed life so sweet I came to know you But you never knew me And the fog it burned off In the West Texas heat Dirty shirt ruffled hair I wandered out onto your street And I didn't know Cause you didn't tell me That you were bleeding Inside of your body Another note I wrote you will not see
11.
I knock on your door til it’s night and you’re still not alive My hands are all covered in soot to prove that I tried The moon is a cowl shell In which I dare not dwell Til it is time Our shoes made a pile by the door that i took as a sign Your clothes spread out on my floor I thought you were mine As soon as our lives had merged The devil began to purge And made you divine Bury you in a shallow grave in case you choose to rise The fifth day of the prophecy is printed on your eyes so it’s no surprise I knock on your door til it’s night and you’re still not alive The fact of god come to light before it is time Such an incredible Stunt i’d like to pull After this life The rook in the garden scours the rubbish for snakes Their fangs are not poison but still they’ll bite all the same A copse in the biting cold Where coals burn down to gold Is all that remains Bury you in a shallow grave in case you choose to rise The fifth day of the prophecy is printed on your eyes Oh god,oh why
12.
When you told me you were sickly And the future came on quickly Well we watched our plans unravel From the distance our hearts travelled And I thought about our first born Walking out under some spring morn Now we knew we'd never see him Just a dream we had imagined You said lay me near the cool creek Where we walked by in our first spring In the shadow of the plum tree Where the willow won't quit weeping On the morning when you're first gone Well I'll walk out over our lawn When you asked me will you think of me And I told you I won't quit thinking And I need you to believe me Yeah I promise I won't quit thinking I promise I won't quit dreaming I promise I won't quit dreaming Just like we first dreamed Back in our first spring

about

When Magritte painted a train coming out of a fireplace it was surreal. So too when Marquez wrote about ghosts walking the streets of Macondo. But this is the most surreal thing:

People you know and love will die, and you'll still be cleaning dried up toothpaste off the bathroom sink.

credits

released July 3, 2017

Lyrics & Music by Matt Beard
Played by Matt Beard & Patrick Budde
Additional vocals by Gaby FeBland & Beth Hyland

Album art by:
Miden Wood (central image)
Jesse Lee Pacheco (collage art)

Mixed and Engineered by Patrick Budde
Mastered by Norman Marston
Additional Arrangements by Patrick Budde

Preserve Records

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